I love Steve Winwood and “Roll With It” is just what I’ve had to do over the past couple of weeks and what I will keep doing. Despite having had 3 of these major operations or MOAS (Mother Of All Surgeries) in less than five years, I’m still having to remind myself that recovery is not a linear process. The past two weeks have been quite challenging, and I have sometimes felt like I was going in reverse rather than getting better. However, when I think about it, I realise that I am on less pain relief than I was when I first came home, I am doing much more, and all of my organs and scar tissue are still settling.
I continue to wake up most mornings feeling well-rested and full of energy, but that starts to wane by mid to late afternoon. I have a side-effect called Tenesmus which I won’t describe in detail, but it involves cramping in the pelvis and this is what kicks in each afternoon and runs through the evening until I take my pain meds at bedtime. As of today, I am cutting down on the doses of the pain meds and spreading them out from early afternoon until bedtime and so far, it seems to be working…
Last week I eased myself back into work on Tuesday with a focus on meetings in the morning when I feel well and offline work in the afternoon with a nap factored in as well. I was back at Basingstoke last week to see my consultant for my six-week check-in and he was pleased with how things are healing and also that my left leg is no longer swollen. He also reminded me that it’s early days and that I shouldn’t worry about still being on pain meds. Some patients are still in hospital at this stage, so he thought it was great that I managed to recover well enough to go home after two weeks.
Whilst the past couple of weeks have not been easy and a couple of days have been absolutely rock bottom, it’s not all been bad. I’m managing to do my physiotherapy most days and hope that I will eventually regain strength in my left leg, I am able to sit on my Peloton most days for 20-30 minutes and turn my legs at a basic resistance level, and when the weather has been warm and sunny, I’ve been out for some lovely local walks. I’ve even managed to have some of my afternoon naps with Bonzo in the garden in the sun.
I’m looking forward to getting out a bit more and also travelling up to London as restrictions ease a bit more in the coming weeks. I’ve been very nervous to leave the house, not because of Covid, but because of the tenusmus and discomfort. Now that I have worked out a solution with my pain meds, I may be a bit more mobile and I hope that the discomfort will ease as my insides start to heal. If not, I’m sure I will find a way to adapt to another ‘New Normal’. I was able to do so during my chemo, I did so after my ileostomy 17 months ago, and I will do so again. Like everyone else, I am keen to get back to socialising and to being out and doing things and generally making the most of my time while I can. As the blog says, “Brendawontbackdown”.
Brenda won't back down 
I read your every post Brenda. You are amazing beyond words. ❤️Love Gosia
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Thank you for the Blogs. It is inspiring for someone who has their own medical issues and looks for something to grab hold of and say “I can get through it as well.”
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You continue to inspire! Incredible resilience
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Darling Brenda, So good to hear how you’re progressing although as you say this is a journey. A great reminder that you’re making huge strides recovering from a massive op and how important it is to reflect on the progress you’ve already made as well as focusing on future adventures. Sending big hugs and love xxxxxx
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Your strength and positive out look is so inspiring. You continue to amaze me. Hope to see you at Deep Cove this summer but I know a lot depends on travel restriction and how you are feeling. I’m here so let me know if I can do anything at this end. Big Hugs.
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Bren, that is quite a blog and very informative. You have done wonders since your surgery. You are absolutely amazing. You are a fighter with great determination. I can’t imagine your pain and discomfort. I do know that you will continue to work at exercising and get your self back to a new normal that you will set up for yourself. We Are here to flag you on. I am so proud of you. Lots of Love
Mummy. XX
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Brenda
Whenever I feel like backing down from anything, I will read your blog again for inspiration. It will be amazing to see you back in the office socialising with everyone. Thank you for sharing and for being so strong.
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You are inspirational xx
be kind to yourself, and enjoy Bonzo’s nursing🐶
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Another inspirational chapter,
Sending good vibes right back at ya
You achieve more than me most days !
Your zest for life is infectious
More energy than a cow-boy from Texas
Accepting challenges in your own sweet way
Glad your leg is now behaving
Next time I see you I’ll be waving
Not running you over
Like I nearly did the other day 😬
Andrea
Xx
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Dear Andrea,
I’m putting all your poems in one document to keep. On another topic, though….we have to say a big thank you for the heads up on the Dental Nurse thingy. India has got the gig and will spend her year off getting a Dental Nurse accreditation..which, must boost her Dentistry application chances. You are a star!
Love Trend and Brenda
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You have done very well Bren! I am sure that you will do much better in time.
Love Mummy
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You are a master of ‘assess, adaptation, move on – & progress’. So pleased to read that your leg swelling has gone down but so sorry to read about the new tenesmus side effect – last thing you need now. It will be fun to do some day trips as part of your new normal. You are always in my prayers. x
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Your resilience is an inspiration! Love you!
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You really are an inspiration, Brenda. Your resilience & determination is incredible, and I love your constantly positive attitude. Wishing you all the very best!
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Continue to be so impressed Brenda by your resilience and determination and positive spirit despite the no-doubt distressing days when you’ve hit rock bottom. It’s still early days and you’ve done remarkably well and come such a long way in such a short time. May your recovery continue apace, your energy be replenished and your spirits kept high xoxox
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