The Sounds of Silence

Had a bit of a down day yesterday following an unpleasant early morning work-related call.  I got home mid-afternoon to find a book in the post from my cousin in Canada – ‘The History of Love’, which was a very kind gesture.  I mentally logged it for entry into my Gratitude journal later and I started to feel a bit better.  I then picked up the Guardian Review on Saturday and read an article about surgeons and, in particular, my amazing surgeon Brenda Moran.   Trend then wrote a great blogpost with various quotes from the article including one from Mr. Moran on the fact that a surgery very similar to mine was ‘very major surgery’ and a bit about what it actually entails.  My Gratitude bucket started to fill up.  I felt grateful for Mr. Moran’s decision nearly four decades ago to become a surgeon and not a vet and his decision to take on my case.  I then remembered the email exchange that I had over the weekend with Dr. Christina Arjion and how grateful I am to her for sending me for that first ultrasound.  My gratitude bucket was filling up.  And then I thought about the two visits over the weekend from my university friends from Canada and how much we had enjoyed spending time with them.  More Gratitude washed over me.   This triggered a flashback to early November before I met the amazing Mr. Moran when I looked out of the window and imagined a time when family, friends, and fresh air might no longer be available to me.   After dinner I took the Bonz for a walk without in any distractions – no phone or iPod – and I just enjoyed living in the moment, seeing, truly seeing the trees, the bluebells and the blossoms and listening to the birdsong and smelling the plants, the bonfires and the fresh cut grass.  I felt so very grateful to be alive and to be able to breathe deeply and take it all in fully.  I was truly energised by it and I felt renewed and refreshed.  I will do it again and again and I will savour that feeling and draw on it when I need it most.  It’s good to be alive. B