Walking through the City in that lovely early evening autumnal light and feeling very calm and peaceful.
I ran into someone at a conference this afternoon who greeted me with a kiss and said ‘You look great – you’ve lost weight, haven’t you? What’s your secret?’ I smiled and said that I had indeed lost weight, and that I was feeling great and that my secret was cancer.’ It’s a tough one. Do I just smile and say nothing? Do I lie and say exercise and eating well? I don’t want to shock people and I don’t want people to feel sorry for me. I took the view that I should just be open and honest but make a big deal of the fact that I am feeling well now.
Back to my autumnal stroll – once again, I feel like I am in a bubble looking out on the world. Unlike last November when I was feeling shocked and scared because I had cancer and I felt different than all of those healthy people around me, this time I feel a sense of nothing can touch me because I am alive and feeling happy and grateful to be feeling well. I feel like nothing can upset me; everything else pales in comparison to the joy of being alive and experiencing life. It’s a powerful feeling and I really want to hold onto it and use it for good. Annoyances at work, minor inconveniences, letdowns, disappointments, disagreements, and so on – so what?
Last week I visited Venice for the first time, and in the morning I got up early and went for a 5 mile run along the Grand Canal. I watched the sun rising with ELO’s ‘I’m Alive’ playing through my headphones as a soundtrack and it was positively life affirming. A big entry in the Gratitude Journal on my return!
Life is good and I will remain in this positive bubble as long as I can…